Title and Name

https://parallelcoaching.co.uk/fitness-business-names

I believe the best title to build is your name.

Titles are good. To some, they define who they are and give them meaning. To others, it’s a weapon to frustrate others. To some, it’s what gives them what they want. You’ve heard people ask, “Do you know who I am? Do you know who you are talking to?” The minute you have to remind people who you are in such a manner, there is a big problem. As we know, titles some of them may go away. The only constant everywhere you go is your name. A good name gives credibility to the title.

A good name is more desirable than great riches. If you have great riches and also a good name, you become credible. You become someone everyone admires. Your success is sustainable. The only sustainable legacy you can leave your children is a good name. A name they will be proud to associate with. A name they will want to pass on to the generations after them. To the people who love you for who you are, a good name means a lot for them. Working on gaining more titles is good and if you get a chance, please go for it, but a good name is eternally beneficial and I’d rather we spend a good amount of our time building a good name that will survive us.

Many people love to do things because they are craving for recognition. They are looking for people to know who they are. I meet a lot of people who struggle to market what they are doing but really looking into it, it’s all air. They work hard to blow their horns and they want to be called Director, Founder, CEO, Mheshimiwa etc. All these are good but if it’s just for a show, to prove a point to some people, then it’s empty and useless. I’d rather people know you for who you are, then discover in the course of your interaction that you bear the title instead of a title being forced down their throat. Remember if you enjoyed the sound of your title at the expense of your name, the day the title will go, you will have nothing to be proud of. Building pride in your name is what matters.

Someone who knows themselves well enough to know that they are not their title is a secure, confident and humble person. This is someone who even if they move from one place to another, will still be admired by those who know and love them for who they are. They will be consistent and this will inspire many who want to be like or better than them. I don’t know about you but I know a number of people who I often forget what their current title is but I cannot forget what their names mean. A mention of their names turns people heads. People wonder, how do you know that person and they wish they would know them or access them too. I want to be like such. I want to be someone who people know their name and love them for who they are not for the title they hold.

A lady who was a senior staff in the government of a country I will not mention was very busy. Let’s call her Jane, not her real name. She had a lot of people coming to her, a huge number of staff working for her. She was never alone as someone was always a few minutes or a sound a way to attend to whatever she needed to be done. She had so many invitations to choose which event to attend and which one not to. Jane was having a wonderful life that others envied. She was successful. Her personality was that of, let’s get things done, we have no time to waste. If you can’t make it happen, stop wasting our time. When her term came to an end, she walked out of the office alone. Little goodbye party and fake “we will miss you” comments. All of a sudden her busy phone was not ringing, she had no need for extra phones. Only one silent phone and no one to screen through her calls if anyone called. The invitations went to zero. No important emails, just spams. She got depressed and very lonely. It then hit her that all the experiences she had were due to her title, not her name, not who she really was. It was too late for her to correct this. Wishing for another experience to do it differently didn’t help much. Jane’s story could happen to any of us. But why wait till too late. You can start right now to focus on not being like Jane. It’s not easy because titles have a way of getting into our heads but I believe with consciousness and intentionality, it’s something possible and worth committing to. It’s all about focusing on people and having soft-skills. It’s about acting in the long term best interest of everyone around you. Let the title that is here today and is gone tomorrow not dominate your life.

From my experience with student leaders, I see a lot of them getting into confusion when their calls go unanswered by the people who used to look for them while they were in power. All they can say is am a former student leader in XY University and clearly, it means nothing to someone who has no idea what that is. I have committed myself through AYLF to provide a platform for these student leaders to build something that goes beyond their university life. Something they can build on and be leaders worth following in community and beyond.

If this resonates with you, seek to build your name. Look for a small community of friends who you can do this together with. Being accountable to a few and practicing with a few. It’s about building a community of friends to share each other’s journey of building a name that goes beyond them.  You have to be deeply committed to each other and desire to see each other grow in this journey. You have to create support, encouragement and accountability platform for each other. The community has to be a small as possible so that there is active engagement by all involved.

Find a community around you and see if these conversations make sense to you…

 

Gabriel Achayo.

Intellectual Follower of Jesus

https://www.cru.org/us/en/blog/spiritual-growth/devotionals-quiet-times/how-your-personality-connects-you-with-god.html

I believe being an intellectual follower of Jesus is more significant and rewarding.

I’ve met followers of Jesus who tend to ignore much education. I wonder whether it’s due to laziness or a belief that once we have Jesus, we don't need knowledge.

Paul was a great scholar and became a very influential follower of Jesus. I’d like to follow Jesus with my whole being; my heart, mind, and strength. Following Jesus with the heart is great, but without clear reasoning from the mind, we may miss the point. 

We are called upon to love God with all our heart, mind, soul and strength. Nothing is left behind. A balanced love of God is more influential than a biased one. Most of the influential people I know, those who have changed their world were not biased on their following Jesus. They intentionally balanced their desire to love Jesus, and also share the love of Jesus to those around them. They did what it took to let their light shine and also be salt & light. If salt remained inside the salt shaker, we wouldn’t feel its impact.

A lot is going on around us, and we can't ignore and stay naïve. We can't hope and pray that things will change. We have to find our seat at the table and let all experience our love for Jesus. Instead of waiting for and hoping that things one day will miraculously get better, we who know and love Jesus, need to occupy the driving seat and be used to bring hope and love to those around us.

http://dioscg.org/index.php/re-program-your-brain-for-lent/

God gave us brains for a reason. He didn’t give us brains to waste it waiting and hoping that situations will magically change. Most of us tend to claim we are waiting for the will of God before we act or do anything. We sit and pray for God to come and show us what to do. I’m sorry this way you might wait till your last day in this world. If God wanted us not to use our brains, he wouldn't have given them to us. We would have been made as robots, which can be programmed and directed to execute but can't think or decide what to do. We need to be wise and strategic so we also don’t just keep doing things. Not everything that is good is necessarily meant for us to do. But by and large, whatever pleases God, whatever is noble, praiseworthy, and honors God, we are encouraged to do. Paul talks of the fact that something could be good and permissible but not necessarily beneficial.

As a follower of Jesus, how do you use your brain to know that which is beneficial to you and those around you? Talking time to reflect on what you can do that would be beneficial is very important as you figure out how to intellectually follow Jesus. Gaining a deeper understanding of how you are uniquely wired, how you respond to situations, what issues have mostly bothered you, what things have you done so well that people have given you affirmation on, how your past experiences have shaped you, what have been the circumstances beyond your control and many more. Looking at these issues will give you an indication of what God is guiding you to focus on. What the will of God is for you. Unfortunately, just sitting and praying for God to show you His will for your life might be a futile effort.

http://blog.fhfbc.org/2013/07/the-mystery-of-gods-will.html

Once you get an indication of what it is God is laying in your heart as his will for you, you need to dig deep into it, so you become the best at it. You become good at it. You go out of your way to make sure you equip yourself in the area so your light can shine in that area. Sometimes, we are tempted to be so wide, but shallow on so many things. I believe in obedience in a single direction as that in itself brings meaning and satisfaction to life. Once you lock into the direction, dig into it and become an oasis in that direction. Let people know you and trust you for that. Be consistent enough that people will know who to turn to when they need you.

If this resonates with you, seek to follow Jesus intellectually. Look for a small community of friends who you can learn to do this together with. Being accountable to a few and practicing with a few. It's about building a community of friends to share each others' in following Jesus with their hearts, soul, mind, and strength. You have to be deeply committed to each other and desire to see each other grow in this journey. You have to create support, encouragement and accountability platform for each other. The community has to be a small as possible so that there is active engagement by all involved.

Find a community around you and see if these conversations make sense to you.

http://www.walkingwithgiants.net/church/small-groups/how-to-kill-a-small-group-discussion/

By Gabriel Odhiambo Achayo

Senior Consultant, GiANT Worldwide (www.giantworldwide.com)

GiANT.TV/gabrielachayo

Nature, Nurture and Choice

   www.giantworldwide.com

I believe our behavior is as a result of a combination of nature, nurture, and choice. Every time we interact with someone or see a particular behavior, we are interacting with a combination of nature, nurture, and choice in different proportions. The question we have to ask ourselves is what of the three do we give power over us, nature, nurture or choice.

Nature is the personality type, the person we are, the person God has created us. We are either extroverted or introverted; we are either thinkers or feelers, Sensors or Intuitors. We are either judgers or perceiver. We have particular preferences which come easily to us due to who we are. We are uniquely gifted in particular ways. Personally, I am Introverted, Sensor, Feeler, and Judger. This makes me interact, take in information, process information and live my life in a particular way different from someone who has a different personality type. This speaks a lot to my preference. It doesn’t mean I can’t be the others; I can be, but it's a lot of effort for me. My preferred style comes naturally to me, but I have to be intentional on my least preferred style. It's got something to do with where I was born when I was born, and all these things that I might have no control over but in essence affect me a lot. They play a role in my life. Personality type doesn't dictate behavior, but it sure does influence. 

Nurture has got to do with how I was raised. Who have been my mentors, role models, spiritual guides? What are my dreams, my education, my faith, my parenting? Did I have strong intentional parenting and vice versa? What have I exposed myself to? What are the key lessons I have picked along the way? Who have been my friends, who have been those people that I have allowed to speak into my life? These have shaped my life and have given me a new paradigm, a different perspective, a different way of thinking and life. I see things differently because of my nurturing. I might have the same nature as someone, but due to my nurturing, I might have a different experience and life pattern. My desire to be a follower of Jesus and to nurture leaders who will commit to following Jesus have predisposed me to a different way of living. If I reflect back to the teenager me and the 37-year-old me, a lot has changed in my life, and all this is due to nurture.

www.giantworldwide.com

Most people have significantly used choice. Some people have misused it, others have taken advantage of it to achieve amazing results. There are two schools of thoughts; one is that we always have choices in every circumstance while another is our choices are not really choices but are limited by something beyond our control. Whatever school of thought you have, we can't ignore the role of choice in our lives. The choices we make help us override both nature and nurture. We may have two people with the same nature and nurture but how they respond to a particular situation will most probably be different. There are cases where our nature and nurture might limit the possibilities of choices we have. When I was getting married, I had to make hard choices on how the whole journey from negotiation to the actual wedding and finally how to bring up my family was going to be done. This was dictated much by my nature and nurture. My situation gave me different scenarios that I had to deal with compared to others 29-year-olds who were getting married seven years ago. So my ability to choose was within my prevailing circumstances brought about as a result of my nature and nurture.

An understanding of this is critical so that in your dealing with people and also living your life, you can understand what is really driving your behavior. To what level are you choosing or letting your nature and nurture drive your behavior.

www.giantworldwide.com

Are you aware of your tendencies that are as a result of a combination of nature, nurture, and choice? How are those tendencies influencing your actions, which is leading to some consequences and in turn has led to a particular reality you find yourself in now?

As a leader, who is intentional in following Jesus, how are nature, nurture, and choice affecting your behavior? How many times do you find yourself blaming your nature and nurture for your faults? How has following Jesus affected your nurturing and choices over the years? Are you intentional or accidental?

If this resonates with you, take time to reflect on your nature, nurture and choice. Look for a small community of friends who you can learn to do this together with. Being accountable to a few and practicing with a few. It's about building a community of friends to share each other's journey of living an intentional life for better leadership behavior.  You have to be deeply committed to each other and desire to see each other grow in this journey. You have to create support, encouragement and accountability platform for each other. The community has to be a small as possible so that there is active engagement by all involved.

Find a community around you and see if these conversations make sense to you…

Image Credits: http://www.businessmalawi.com

By Gabriel Odhiambo Achayo

Senior Consultant, GiANT Worldwide (www.giantworldwide.com)

GiANT.TV/gabrielachayo

INTEGRITY AND AYLF

In a society where greed and self-preservation have been sanitized and raised on a high platform, good values to live by become an ever-elusive mirage and the people slump even lower to a point of total desperation. Rules and regulations can only go so far in attempting to correct the situation. In essence, they serve as the hardware of which, without the proper software, they will only be left to gather dust and become a memorial of the good intentions a people once had.

Africa Youth Leadership Forum seeks to bring together a group of young people who share the same values and in the process become a living testimony that we as a people can change and hopefully form societal catalysts for character growth. One of the most critical values that we work around is integrity. For a long time in our country Kenya and Africa at large, we have painfully watched as our leaders use their positions to enrich themselves, ever so often displaying a callous dereliction of their God-given duties. 
Integrity has become so rare in our systems that our children are growing up in a world where the word only exists in a dictionary. They have watched as the few citizens who have tried to live honestly have been ruthlessly punished by a system that seeks to sustain itself by silencing any sane voice that dares to rear its head. Most of us are hardly familiar with the story of one David Munyakei. He did our country great good by whistleblowing on the infamous Goldenberg Scandal. According to the Daily Nation, Saturday, July 25, 2009, he lost his job and would eventually die of pneumonia, largely due to lack of drugs. With all the integrity he had displayed, this man ought to have been treated as a hero. It seemed though that his life got so miserable that he worked very hard to run away from the effects of what he had exposed, including relocating and changing his religion. Such can be the cost of integrity.

Sitting through some of our court sessions, one can’t help but feel like integrity is the main defendant who seems to be losing hard. I appeared in court twice in one week on January 2014 following some traffic violations and at the end of those two sessions, I was convinced that a greater percentage of those in court, especially for the traffic cases, was because they couldn’t bribe.  In some instances, integrity has proved to be a quicker route to prison than criminal activities.

With this backdrop, AYLF works hard to help keep the candle of integrity burning for as long as we can, or until such a time when integrity will be able to stand on its own. We seek to have conversations around this topic, using live examples of how and when we had to bear the brunt of honest living. At the same time, we offer our members a platform to share moments that they failed to uphold the same without being shamed. We have chosen to be our brother’s keepers so to speak.

We agree that even in the darkest moments, a light, however dim, more often than not does exist. There are Kenyans who have espoused a life of integrity for the greater part of their existence. AYLF has connected itself to these people and created a relationship that seeks to have the youth both challenged and encouraged to adopt this kind of living. We have senior friends who have become a valued library of good morals and character development. These friends have become mentors who have chosen to walk with the youth as they pour their golden selves into the ever-growing minds of the youth.

The need for integrity can never be underestimated. Lack of it affects all sectors of our economy. A member of parliament who has been entrusted with distributing education funds through the CDF dishonestly decides to divert the cash to other illegitimate uses. As a result, a student misses their education, they result in crime to cater for their needs, end up in jail where the government has to feed and take care of them. A contractor uses under the table means to win a road construction tender. They have to spend over 60% of the money on paying off their godfathers. They either never finish their work or do so to a substandard level and this leads to accidents, traffic jams, not to mention perennial repairs. I could go on but it is clear that without integrity, we are all stuck in a hamster wheel of poor standards of living for the majority of our people.

As we nurture the new breed of leaders, we hope that they shall be the ones to change the tide for good and make our country and continent the envy of the whole world as it should be.

By Allan Mwangi. 

A BETTER ME FOR A BETTER WORLD

                           

By Robert Nyagah.

Student and AYLF small group member at Multimedia University - Kenya

The first time I heard the theme, it sounded strikingly similar to the lyrics of Michael Jackson’s hit song “Heal the World.” Oddly enough, the message wasn’t too far away from the legend’s inspirational jam. As we went through the whole theme, it broke my heart to pieces, and sewed it back together, tighter and stronger than ever before.

As a result of fully understanding the theme, it has immensely impacted me in all spheres of life; intellectually, socially, emotionally and spiritually in a profound way. Becoming a better me has taught me how to cultivate qualities that build and empower me, ultimately having a net effect on the world around me. Service beyond self, humility and unconditional love are some truly important qualities that we so often bypass, but are inherently important to constantly practice and behold.

A simple prayer that has made me a better man is to ultimately ask the Almighty Father what my purpose is in life and in this world. It is liberating to know that ultimately, I will do what He wants me to do, go where He wants me to go, and be what He wants me to be. He knows what he wants from us and it is not all about us. It is about Him and His glory. Through this prayer, our purpose manifests, and we realize our greater destiny.

One lesson that transformed my thinking was also the teachings and insights on character. Character is the foundation on which our actions and habits are exercised. It is like our muscles, which need to be strengthened to be powerful and functional in our lives. The only person you could change is yourself, to change the world, and thusly, character is one factor that transforms your life in order to overcome numerous hurdles and obstacles that are bound to happen in life.

In our small discussion groups, we also talked about numerous issues that are affecting us which could be resolved by making ourselves better. A friend from Uganda gave us a fantastic quote that summed it all up, in reference to the lack of courage to stand for what we believe in and fight for it always. “If you are bought for being stupid, then intelligence ceases to matter”. It taught me a crucial lesson in bettering myself. You can never trade what you believe for money or anything else. Your beliefs and values are the blueprint of your life and all challenges can be overcome by the positive force of good.

There are things and people I have had to give up in order to better myself in the process. It is hard to develop and grow if the people you hang around don’t shape your values and mission. I have since made friends with brilliant young men and women and shared experiences that have left me enriched and grateful that I learned this when I needed it the most. This has provided a platform for positive interactions and opportunities, something that we cherish as members of AYLF.

One challenging area in my life that has become lighter is the knowledge that to become a better you, reconciliation with the areas of conflict around you is paramount. Time and again, I held up bitterness and anger that ate me up inside and it was extremely self-destructive. By reconciling my differences with myself, family members and friends I now feel greater peace and I am in a better position to handle disputes in a mature and progressive way.

A better you also require boldness, fearlessness, and determination. To become a better you, always remember that a comfort zone is a good place to be, but nothing grows there. Have you ever seen a beautiful, lush garden with blooming flowers that are captivating and sweet smelling? A lot of work goes into making it that way – weeding, pruning the leaves and constantly watering them so that they may flourish. Your life is like a garden of flowers, you have to weed and prune out the things that derail you, and water yourself with experiences, activities, and people that move you forward.

Jesus is an exemplary leader. He is the centerpiece of our teachings in AYLF. To become a better you and a leader in your life it is crucial that we understand that love is the greatest virtue of all. If you love others, you will be a servant and a friend, just like he exemplified in his life.

Finally, the lessons I learned from this theme will forever be written across my heart they will be a lantern in my journey to the future. Do you want to see a better world? Simple, just be a better you.

FAMILY OF FRIENDS-COMMITMENT TO LONG TERM RELATIONSHIPS

“Family isn’t always about the people in your life who are blood relations. It’s about the people in your life who want you to be in theirs. It’s about the people in your life who accept you for who you are, Support you in the things you choose to do and no matter what, are there for you. It’s the people in your life who love you, respect you and who you can depend on. Now that’s family!”

And what else does AYLF offer you than a family of friends? People who care about you, support you and respect you. This is my story:

I joined AYLF in 2014. This was through a friend I had made in High School-Millicent Orondo. I attended the Tuesday meetings then at YMCA and I soon became a small group coordinator for the KU Chapter. This is where all the fun started. We would meet on Thursday evenings at a food outlet where we would share biscuits and soda. We started off less than 5, with a standard deviation of 2(I am sorry my statistics had to come in (lol)We had no agenda but just to know how the week was and get to know each other better. The number soon grew and by the time I was leaving, we were quite a good number, a consistent of 15 members.

How does the family come in? You may wonder. In 2015, I went to Rwanda for 2 months. As a good family member would do, Joshua AKA Josh on hearing this was concerned and introduced me to Jackie Mbabazi an AYLF member from Rwanda. We met in Kigali and this kick-started a friendship which has stood to date. Jackie always called to check on how I was doing. She is definitely one of the sweetest persons you can ever meet and I am glad to call her family. This is just one instance that I can point.

AYLF is that place you can be your real self with no fear of judgment. This safe spot allows you to make friendships that are not just for convenience but are long-term.

We have celebrated marriages between AYLF members.H ow beautiful it is to know that AYLF is that place where one can trust to get the love of their life. That one can trust to be vulnerable and make a deep life-long commitment like marriage. Not only that, AYLF has created an avenue of friends across countries which has bridged the gap, especially Kenya and Uganda, has a special connection I could say.

AYLF even has an investment group. A thought that just started as a joke during one of the Tuesday meetings has now blossomed to serious investment and shareholding. We are all so cautious about our money but friendship melts the fears and this has been the backbone of a successful investment group.

AYLF members will celebrate your birthday with you, attend your graduation, surprise you on your Engagement, be at your bridal shower, come to visit when you get a baby and the list goes on and on. Who else can be that present apart from family?

I can bet each person who has been in AYLF can point out more than one instance that AYLF has played the role of family in their lives. What is your story?

By Mercy Karumba. 

AYLF - A COMMUNITY OF COMPASSION

Most people do not know this but, the very first time I heard of AYLF, I had a lot of doubts about it. You know, when it's your first day in Campus with a mom like mine, she did not have to warn me, because I had an idea of what happens here and so I had promised myself to be extremely cautious with what I got myself into.

Anyway, of course, later on, I did finally say yes. What attracted me first was the traveling part because I am a sucker for a good trip with great people. But more than that, what attracted me more was the aspect of Jesus. At that time, I was struggling with what I believed in but in as much as I was a leader and the fact that AYLF was offering a platform for me to grow, I felt, this was the place for me to regain that relationship, that hope that God was still there for me.

It was not easy because I still made mistakes and many more mistakes but the difference is I had friends who I knew I could count on. Apart from my small group back at Pan Africa Christian University, I enjoy being in the Tuesday small group. Every Tuesday I get to see and meet these amazing people who display nothing but Love. Sometimes I tend to look around when people are busy focusing on the one talking and I smile because as much as they may not see it, these are people who actually care about each other.

We have been told so many times before of how Jesus is Love. In fact, He is the basic definition of Love. And AYLF centers everything around this stand. A friend of mine says, working in the best interest of the other person. And what are relationships, friendships without Love? Without working in the best interest of others?

At a certain point, I remember I was going through some snippet of depression. I was pulling out of all my circles, pretending that I was okay when I actually was not. I started focusing my energy on solving people’s problems when in reality I had a lot of my own that needed to be dealt with. I started getting too busy with everything yet all I was actually doing was running away from my then bitter reality. I was devastated and most of all I hated who I had become and did not think that anyone would want to be associated with me.

Fortunately, or unfortunately for me, I had met this amazing lady at AYLF. So far, she has been like a mother to me, and I say this with utmost sincerity and admiration. She walked with me, reminded me of the greatness and beauty I had within me. Not only her, others too played a great role in my redemption process and I am so privileged to have them in my life.

It made me realize that I had a community of friends who loved me and who were looking out for me. I learned to forgive myself and live in the realization that love truly does cover a multitude of sins, and AYLF was there to remind me of the same. What more could I ask for?

This means that now I too can share the same love and compassion with those around me. That I listen more and give more. Love is definitely also more about calling out our friends when they do something wrong. It proves hard to do sometimes, but if everything we are supposed to do was easy then I think we would all be endeavoring to the values we hold most dear. I have also learned that well, we are not perfect, but with a little love, that is all we need to soldier on. The thing about love is that you do not have to necessarily walk up to someone and tell them you love them; your actions are what will actually scream loudest. That when people see you, they will associate you with someone who is full of Love. Just like Jesus.

By Sharon Chebaibai. 

Communication and Media Student at PAC University.