TRUE LOVE

I believe in true love.

Love is the most misused four-letter word in history. We confess love to people, items, animals, feelings, experiences etc. What does it really mean? For God so loved the world that he gave… God is love. God defines what love is. To truly understand love, you have to learn from God. He who lives in God lives in love. Love is a command, it’s an action. It’s not a thought, intention etc. It’s to be given to those around us.

Confessing love means I'm willing to trust you, care for you, be there for you, risk it all for you, sacrifice for you. It’s important to realize that after confessing; true love is in acting/living out the love.

Without God, all our loving actions are empty and doesn’t lead to significance and peace. We can’t love if we don’t love ourselves. The more we love ourselves the more we love those around us. In order to love those around us, we have to see ourselves in them. A reflection of our hopes, passions, dreams, wishes in them. This draws us to them. We cannot see this reflection unless we spend the time to listen, discover, and serve.

The question then is; is it possible to love everyone and anyone? Are there people who are unlovable, those we have no love for? What makes us feel we can’t love someone? “Psychologist have concluded that the need to feel loved is a primary human emotional need. Child psychologists affirm that every child has certain basic emotional needs that must be met if he is to be emotionally stable. Among those emotional needs, none is more basic than the need for love and affection, the need to sense that he/she belongs and is wanted. With an adequate supply of affection, the child will likely develop into a responsible adult. Without that love, he or she will be emotionally and socially challenged” Adapted from Five Love Languages.

Perfect love drives out fear. True love is perfect. Who has shown you love or you have shown love in a not ordinary way. What made this love happen? How do you feel when you are around the people you love or love you? Do you feel fear, or need to prove a point/yourself, or need to defend yourself? Are there moments you wish you could say something but you can’t cos you don’t want to touch that button. How do you balance respect and fear in the context of love? These are thoughts that you need to confront in your journey to understand love and offer love or accept love.

I'm no expert in love but I invite you to reflect further on this, find time to focus and try to identify, about three people who have loved you or you have loved in the past or currently. Try to reflect on these questions; What made you love them or them love you? Why did you love them or them loving you? How has this love influenced you or the people you love? How might your life be different if this love you give or receive hadn’t been there? What do you receive or give in this love that has impacted you or the loved ones? (a principle, sense of worth or destiny etc). Have you expressed to this person how grateful you are for his or her love in your life? If you can find a way to contact the person, take a few moments and make a quick call or write a note and express your appreciation!

If this resonates with you, go ahead to evaluate your love life. Start now… Then look for a small community of friends who you can do this together with… Being accountable to a few and practicing with a few. It’s about building a community of friends to share each other’s journey of love.  You have to be deeply committed to each other and desire to see each other grow in this journey. You have to create a support, encouragement and accountability platform for each other. The community has to be a small as possible so that there is active engagement by all involved. 

Find a community around you and see if these conversations make sense to you…

Written By:

Gabriel Adhiambo Achayo