Laws and Human beings

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I believe laws are meant for human beings, not the other way round.

I tend to think am a rebel. Most people who know me might doubt this but ask my wife, and maybe my high school friends. I once formed a party in high school to go against what I felt wasn’t serving in the best interest of the students. Long story short, the three of us faced the consequences of that and spent almost a whole academic term in punishment. We wanted students to be given a chance to pick their prefects but I guess it wasn’t the right time for that then. Now that’s the case in every secondary school. As it is, everything works in His best time. That’s a great hope to me. If a law isn’t enhancing performance or is standing on the way of achieving an intended common goal or is leading to ineffectiveness, then that law needs to be reevaluated and if necessary changed or scrapped off. Sabbath is meant for human not human for Sabbath.

But again human beings, though well-meaning, can occasionally abuse something if no laws are there to guard it. Hence we need to be wise, flexible and practical. We should not find ourselves being an obstacle to an intended well-meaning goal. A law is as good as it can facilitate us from point A to B. We shouldn’t be prisoners of law but we should be free of it.

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As a follower of Jesus, how we live our lives should not be based on some laws. We should not just do something because the laws state so or fail to do it for the same reason, but we should follow the conviction based on the teachings of Jesus. Our lives should mirror the values and principles as Jesus taught them and continues to reveal them to us. Occasionally, we may fall on the wrong side of the law but that doesn’t mean that we should not trust God to walk us through the situation. I have seen followers of Jesus do something because police are there or fail to do it because there are no police. This should not be the case. Whether police are there or not, the fact that you are a follower of Jesus doesn’t change because you have no one watching. We love to look for the easy way out, whether it means paying a bribe or breaking a law. Who said it has to be easy?

To whom much is given, much is required and from him to whom much is entrusted, more will be demanded. We can no longer operate as if we don’t know the one who has promised to be with us all through the way. We have high rates of corruption, crime, social injustice etc in our country not because we don’t have laws but because we don’t have the will to live out what Jesus calls us to. It doesn’t really matter how much you know, but how you live it out is what matters. Information transfer doesn’t necessarily lead to transformation. The little you know, what impact has it had on you. Has it led to your personal journey of transformation or are you just looking to have volumes and volumes of information? We attend conferences and seminars so we become better, but we still face the same challenges over and over. How have you taken time to really liberate yourself and live the life you are called to live? How are you living a life worth your calling?

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We are made in the image of God and so we need to be like him. We are His ambassadors and what we do should represent him. Loving God and loving neighbor is a great way to live out your calling. Acting in the long-term best interest of your neighbor is above the laws of this land. How do you do this and make it your lifestyle? Always acting in the long-term best interest of others. You don’t need a law to do this; you just need to commit to loving God and loving neighbor. Whether you are on the roads, in public, at work, in school or at home, how are you living this out? You can’t do this by your own effort; you need to ask the source to guide you and continually remind you; to give you a clear conscience so you don’t fall back or should you fall back, to help you to rise back up. It’s not the fact that you have fallen, but that you are able to rise back up again better and stronger. Rising up, having learned your lessons in life to move on liberated.

If this resonates with you, reflect on why you interact with the laws. Look for a small community of friends who you can do this together with… Being accountable to a few and practicing with a few. It’s about building a community of friends to share each other’s journey in following Jesus.  You have to be deeply committed to each other and desire to see each other grow in this journey. You have to create a support, encouragement and accountability platform for each other. The community has to be a small as possible so that there is active engagement by all involved.

Find a community around you and see if these conversations make sense to you…

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By Gabriel Odhiambo Achayo.

Parenting

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I believe parenting is the most special and important assignment we have in the world.

My wife is a great mother. I trust her with our children’s welfare. Occasionally, I get distracted with the rat race of life. Am often reminded that I may be the only one to teach my children how to respect, take responsibility, love God & others, and live an honorable life. God has entrusted me with precious gifts as our children; an opportunity to play a role in shaping the future generation. This is often not an easy task. I could be busy mentoring other people out there but if I don't start at home, then all I’m doing is a show. It's at home that I'm authentic and should be who God really wants me to be. All those people out there will move on and go back to their homes but at the end of the day, my children will always be my children. The generation I bring forth cannot be replaced by another out there. If marriage is God’s way of making two individuals better people, parenting is His way of teaching us unconditional love which is His gift to us.

We are called upon to train our children in the way they should go so they don’t depart from it. To train someone, you need a curriculum. Unfortunately, in parenting, we don’t have a curriculum. We stumble upon it. Make our share of mistakes. Sometimes you get it right and sometimes wrong. How do we do this noble, special, and important assignment? The grace is however sufficient for those who seek it. There are a lot of books on parenting out there. It's however worth noting that all these books could be a great read but if you don't become an intentional parent, then they are just too much information that you don’t need. And it’s good to know that information transfer doesn’t lead to transformation.

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Parenting is quite a responsibility. But it’s rewarding and possible to go through it and survive. Gone are the days when children were raised in a community. We now have parenting in isolation. This is dangerous. There are a number of parents who “love” their kids so much to let them interact with other people or kids. So they get exclusively raised and given great opportunities so they turn out great. But this doesn’t always yield intended results. We are born, live and thrive in the community. We are human beings and in our, DNA is a desire to connect and bloom.

I keep saying there are those who were nurtured and there are those who grew. I don’t know which side you belong. But it’s always that we are trying to copy some things from our parents in how we are parenting or avoiding it. We either want to perfect what our parents did to us or reverse it in our kids. Some of us have never experienced a parent’s love and we have no idea how to love our kids. So we shower them with gifts, things to make them know how we love them. Others want their kids to experience what they experienced growing up, to learn that life is never easy. The future of our society lies in how we choose to do this parenting business now. Your little son or girl is going to be a parent in a matter of years. They are going to be raising another generation in few years to come. What kind of a generation would you like them to raise? Be intentional and start planting those seeds. 

When I got my 1^st son, I understood the struggles my parents went through. I appreciated their efforts to do whatever little they did to me to get by. The famous joke was clear to me, "I was a good parent until I got my own children." I have a book I laugh at the title every time I see it on my bookshelf, the title is "Help! I'm a parent." By Bruce Narramore. Am yet to read it.

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Whichever way you choose to do this, the best gift you can give to your children as parents is to love and respect each other. If the children know that their parents are daily acting in the long-term best interest of each other, they will turn out well. An environment of love does magic. You know it when you are in an environment where love is missing and no one wants to be there. It’s not healthy for growth. It’s toxic, stifling and deprives people of joy and happiness that bring meaning to this life. You can love your children at the expense of their father or mother, but this will not help your children. They may like it for a while but after some time, when they know better, they will not appreciate the long-term effect it has on them. For couples raising their children together, provide a platform of love by loving each other and all shall be well with your kids. For single parents, provide a platform of love by loving your kids. Act in their long-term best interest always. I worked with young men who came from families where their fathers were never there and their idea of a father was messed up. Some of them struggled with viewing God as a father. As much as I offered myself in a small way to play the role of an older figure in their lives, I could never replace the love of a father, the place of a father and in some cases parents.

By our own efforts, we can't love. There is a source of love. What's your source?

If this resonates with you, take time to evaluate how you parent. Look for a small community of friends who you can do this together with… Being accountable to a few and practicing with a few. It’s about building a community of friends to share each other’s parenting stories and experiences.  You have to be deeply committed to each other and desire to see each other grow in this journey. You have to create a support, encouragement and accountability platform for each other. The community has to be a small as possible so that there is active engagement by all involved.

Find a community around you and see if these conversations make sense to you…

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By Gabriel Odhiambo Achayo

True Sacrifice has to Cost

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I believe that true sacrifice has to cost.

David said he could not give to God what doesn't cost him. Many times we pride ourselves on how much we have sacrificed to help others, to get something done when in the real sense we have just done our duty. We give extra clothes, food, loose change that we feel we no longer need/use. We look for free time to do something we consider valuable and claim we have sacrificed time. If it doesn't cost you or hurt you then it’s not worth it. True love is a sacrifice of self, time, emotions, resources etc. When we sacrifice, we don’t expect anything in return. It’s not an investment, we just put it all in, no commensurate benefit from the recipient. But should we expect a return, then it’s not a sacrifice, it’s a transaction. No pain, no gain. If you give to someone because they will one day also give to you, what credit is that? Anyone can do that. We say scratch my back I scratch yours. But true sacrifice is what is loosely translated from Swahili, "do good and go your way."

Most of us are good at doing things for others, going out of our way. This is great and it should continue. But if it's done out of what is extra, then it's not a sacrifice. We are unworthy servants who have just done our duty; given away what we don't need. But if it comes from an intentional decision to sacrifice for the sake of others, then that's when it counts. It's an offering to God and others. It's not an allocation of excess resources. This is an act of worship to God.

This should not be unwisely taken from the point of not caring for ourselves. As they say, you can’t give what you don’t have. It has to be driven by a belief that if I only need one shirt, why should I buy two when my neighbor has no trouser or shirt.

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A more significant sacrifice is to help the person in need not to come back to you for help. How do you let them realize they don’t need you anymore for them to grow or make ends meet? Most of us are always very quick to establish a dependency syndrome. A culture that makes people keep running to us since we feel that’s the only way to stay relevant to them and to ourselves. Most groups that try to help and do good are there to stay as they want people to keep coming to them for help.

I recently learned a revolutionary idea about liberating people. This speaks to support and challenge. It's about creating a culture of empowerment and opportunity. This is liberation. I believe this is the most significant sacrifice. This is not easy and it’s costly in terms of resources, time, and emotionally. How do I make myself irrelevant in your life? In the lives of the people who I interact with. Now, this could be a scary thought to those of us who our ultimate goal for helping is for us, not for them. We are doing all we do so we feel nice about ourselves but not really to help the person move on fully empowered and able to take advantage of every opportunity they come across. A number of agencies and organizations that go out there to eradicate poverty or help people are really not interested in the realization of their goals, but on staying on the job. But also, there are good ones whose work of equipping, supporting, challenging, and empowering people is a continuous process of inlet and outlet.

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Jesus came so we may have life and have it in abundance. That we will be liberated. For those of us who strive to be His followers, how are we liberating the people He brings our way. How are we making them experience life in abundance? Are we holding off something so we don't become irrelevant? Are we causing healing, casting out fears, and raising them up? Are we being Jesus to these people? You are the only Jesus that they will probably experience. As your friendship continues, it should not be on the grounds of dependence but liberated friends, partners and coworkers.

When we say “your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven”, what are we really asking for?

May these thoughts become part of your plans to help those who you commit to.

If this resonates with you, take time to evaluate how you liberate those God bring your way. Look for a small community of friends who you can do this together with… Being accountable to a few and practicing with a few. It’s about building a community of friends to share each other’s liberation stories.  You have to be deeply committed to each other and desire to see each other grow in this journey. You have to create a support, encouragement and accountability platform for each other. The community has to be a small as possible so that there is active engagement by all involved.

Find a community around you and see if these conversations make sense to you…

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By Gabriel Odhiambo Achayo

Simple and Intentional Living

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I believe in simple and intentional living.

Many times I find myself in complex situations that are man-made. It’s stressing and annoying to think how in most cases with the imagination that we want to be serious we always end up complicating our lives. We get into a rat-race because we want to portray an image of serious, sophisticated life. Simple but intentional living, on the other hand, is more rewarding. Just being simple is not good enough. You may disregard some crucial issues that might hit back on you. But being simple with intentionality goes a long way in giving us a fulfilling and significant life.

An intentional life can’t be lived without continuous self-examination. We need to continually examine our lives, be intentional how we want to move from point A to B and do it the simplest way we can.

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Life can be very demanding and with the pressure to be like others, to fit in, to count for something, we drag along things that we really don’t need in our lives. We rarely ask ourselves what do we really want, what are we all about, what’s really important to us. What do we really want to be and do embracing our own uniqueness and diversity?

God intends for us that we be simple and live simple lives. He further expects us to be intentional. After creating Adam, he asked him to be fruitful, multiply, replenish the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over everything - Simple but intentional.

In our desire to really feel that we are important and deserving, we have done more harm, than good to ourselves. What if we just cared about what God cares about. What if we went back to what really God wanted us to do and be?

We are called upon to do justice, love, mercy and walk humbly with God. To me this is simple. Unfortunately, due to our egoistic tendencies and the pressure we put ourselves through, we miss out on enjoying this.

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It’s amazing how people who have learned to trust have managed to live simple lives. Trust is the key to reducing on all the complications we mostly find ourselves in. The more you are trustworthy and you learn to trust others the simpler and intentional your life is. I’m a firm believer in trust. I have been accused of easily trusting people. I have been disappointed by people. But I still believe, my life is what is it is because I have learned how to slowly trust people who God brings my way. It’s never easy and it’s a journey am willing to take. This trust is either to God, family, friends, colleagues etc. If you fully trust God to do what he says he will, your life will be simple, and the same applies to others around you. If you don’t trust, you will live a more complicated life as you will always be suspicious of everything including yourself.

Trust is never developed overnight. It requires being intentional and time. You have to risk it. You have to keep at it, give it all without reservation and you will be amazed how people respond if you show them trust. Who do you trust most around you? How does that interaction with the person you trust always go? On a scale of 1 to 10, where will you rate it with regard to simplicity?

What is the one thing you know you really trust yourself at? How easy is it when it comes to engaging in it? Most of us are stuck in complication or sophistication because we don't trust ourselves. We don't believe in ourselves and what we can do. We don't even believe in God which is the greatest and the most important work we are called upon to do. To believe in the one he sent. That makes life simple and intentional.

If this resonates with you, think how to make your life simple and intentional. Start now… Then look for a small community of friends who you can do this together with… Being accountable to a few and practicing with a few. It’s about building a community of friends to share each other’s journey of life.  You have to be deeply committed to each other and desire to see each other grow in this journey. You have to create a support, encouragement and accountability platform for each other. The community has to be a small as possible so that there is active engagement by all involved.

Find a community around you and see if these conversations make sense to you…

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By Gabriel Odhiambo Achayo

Money; Means to an End

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I believe money is to serve us, not the other way around

Money is a very important part of our lives. Often we get mixed up and end up in a rat race chasing after money. We look for every opportunity to cash in. It’s unfortunate that some of our relationships have been monetized, in terms of what money or financial gain I’m I getting from the relationship.

The love for money is the root of all kinds of evil. We need money to pay bills, serve others & God, live a happy life etc, but we shouldn’t let money dictate how we do this. We should always take charge and never let money run our lives. Most of us have become slaves to money. We follow it, it dictates how we live our lives, how we handle our relationships, families etc.

Money should be a means to an end not an end in itself. Money is there to make things work for us, to make us serve God and those around us. Our belief around money varies but I believe we either face money with abundant mentality or scarcity mentality. This will largely determine what money means to us and how we use it. Abundance mentality believes in opportunities for all. If money becomes the end in itself, we end up using people to achieve this end.

A friend of mine once told me that a problem that money can solve is not a problem. I totally agree. It depends on which paradigm you adopt.

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To most of us, money has become the center of our lives; we look at all other aspects of our lives with the glasses of money. Our attitude towards family, work, friends, relatives, spouse etc is dictated by money. This is in itself is a problem. It means, if you don’t have money, then all these aspects of your lives are in trouble. As we know money is something that we cannot predict. You can have it or lose it the next minute. So if all you have in your life is wrapped around money, then you will experience a lot of challenges enjoying the joys of this life.

We should shift to adopt principles centered paradigm. When you have clear principles that your life is all about, money becomes a tool, not the main thing. Money becomes a means to an end, not the end in itself. This leads to more happiness and significance in life than focusing on having a fat bank account that means nothing should you leave it to someone who doesn’t appreciate how you got it. If I’m to choose between a fat bank account and living a life of significance & legacy, I’d rather go for the later. No one has ever at the end of their lives been glad they have a fat bank account, but most would be glad they impacted many lives and made a contribution that transformed lives. Happiness is not how much you own, but how significant your life is, how intentional you have lived your life. It’s dangerous to have money without principles, without a ‘why’ or a ‘how’. How much money can you hold in your account and feel it’s enough? And how many people will be like you at that level?

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This is not in any way to belittle the need for money in our lives but is to make us reflect on how we view money, how we use it, our paradigm towards it. Is it a means to an end or the end in itself? I wish I’d have more money with me, I wish I’d have opportunities to make more money. But I don’t want to have that money just because I want it, for me it should be a tool to live out my life’s mission, to facilitate my why and fuel my how. So I need to begin with the end in mind, answer the why, the how, my life’s mission. I believe where He leads He provides. If God puts a mission in my heart, He will provide for it. I have seen this happen in my life countless times. God facilitating something he has put in my heart to make it happen. If you adopt this belief with wisdom, provision will come in many ways to get you where God wants you to be. You will not even need to see the money in your bank account. Your life will just happen, you will enjoy a unique favor, a special privilege that some people will never understand.

A friend of mine once told me, he can literally visit any of the six continents in the world without having to spend a shilling on where to stay. All he needs to do is to let the connections he has in those places know that he’s coming and he will be given access to whatever he needs at no cost. That’s what this is all about. Provision without money, but through years of focus on your life’s mission.

If this resonates with you, go ahead to evaluate your paradigm towards money. Start now… Then look for a small community of friends who you can do this together with… Being accountable to a few and practicing with a few. It’s about building a community of friends to share each other’s journey of life with, discover each other’s paradigm towards money and offer support to each other.  You have to be deeply committed to each other and desire to see each other grow in this journey. You have to create a support, encouragement and accountability platform for each other. The community has to be a small as possible so that there is active engagement by all involved.

Find a community around you and see if these conversations make sense to you…

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By Gabriel Odhiambo Achayo