Power of a few

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I believe in the power of a few.

No man is an island. Every person needs people to nudge them in the right direction, keep them accountable, walk the journey of life with them etc. This also brings in conflicts, misunderstandings, assumptions that no one wants. When we choose to be involved in people's lives or welcome people in our lives we have to be ready for whatever baggage this might bring. A friend I respect said, where two or three are gathered together, milk is spilled by somebody. The solution is to bring plenty of paper towels to the gathering.

Jesus said where two or three are gathered in His name, He is in the midst. There has to be a common purpose for the coming together. This has to be clearly understood by everyone involved. Without clarity, all the efforts might not bear fruits hence leading to untold frustrations even with the purest intentions.

Margaret Mead said, "never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed people can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has." Now, this quote looks like it only applies to national or community-related issues. I find it very relevant when it comes to our own private worlds, our life journeys.  We are relational beings and to that extent, we find that our lives are connected to other people. It’s interesting how we may have a list of very many friends but none on this list could be considering us a friend. To them, we could just be another person in their lives.

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One of the most powerful things is to have your key relationships in your life. As Pst. Robert Burale puts it, your four key people. The one pulling you ahead, another one covering your back, another helping with your strengths, while the other with your weakness. I wonder how many of us have a few in their lives who know them very well and can help them grow. In most cases, we would like to look like we are all ok. We are self-sufficient and hence we don't need anybody. This is a big lie. We need a few people who we have given permission to speak into our lives. Those who can ask us the hard questions in life.

As I continue to walk the path I find myself into, I continue to realize how much I need people around me. People who will be honest and have the courage to demand answers from me. People who care enough that they will not watch me fall into a ditch. They will be ready to act in the long-term best interest of me. No matter what the situation is. Hopefully, I can also do the same for them. This has to be a few committed people. You can't achieve maximum benefit from this from a multitude of people. 

Having a few people committed to you is great for Support, Encouragement, and Accountability (S.E.A.), Friendship, hanging out, authentic relationship and staying on course with basic disciplines. It would also help if you know an area in your life where you need help or to work on. While together you need to fight for the highest possible good of each other. It would be helpful to Liberate each other by continually asking these questions. This can be done weekly or monthly to assess your journey together with a few:

·         What specific support and challenge do we need to offer to each other?

·         What is the tendency or pattern most undermining each other’s influence?

·         How do we help each other get to the next level?

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Who in your life have you given permission to ask the hard questions? Who knows you better and can point it out if you are getting into trouble? Who do you have guiding you forward? Who is that friend covering your back? Who is taking care of your weaknesses and watching over your strength? 

If this resonates with you, find a few people. Look for a small community of friends who you can do this together with… Being accountable to a few and practicing with a few. It’s about building a community of friends to share each other’s life experiences with.  You have to be deeply committed to each other and desire to see each other grow in this journey. You have to create a support, encouragement and accountability platform for each other. The community has to be a small as possible so that there is active engagement by all involved.

Find a community around you and see if these conversations make sense to you…

By Gabriel Achayo. 

Silent and Listen

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I believe that silence and listening births wisdom.

Talk is easy, but it’s much harder to be silent and listen. We like to be distracted since we are scared of silence. We have our social media, music, phone, Tv etc distracting us all through because we are not sure what the silence might bring. We don’t want to hear our thoughts and question ourselves. We want to be busy.

Silence is golden, we are able to reflect and dig into the inner being to try to understand what is going on. When trying to walk with someone through an issue, it's important that we understand them before they understand us. This can only happen when we shut-up and listen. In the multitude of words, we may display stupidity, but when we listen, not under pressure to say anything, we gain a lot of wisdom through understanding.

To some, silence is easy while to others it’s a punishment when we think of it. To some it’s a preferred way of recharging while to others, it means there’s nothing else to do and so we prefer not to get to it. Whatever the case, we intentionally need it. More so if you are connecting with someone who needs you to be silent and listen to them. We all know that friend who never listens to us, they are quick to advise us, comment and push their ideas down our throat. They never take time to listen to what we are opening up to them about. For that reason, they don’t appear in your top list of people to talk to when you need someone to listen to you. On the other hand, we treasure that friend who listens to us. We yearn for that moment to feel cared and understood because someone took time to. Someone didn’t jump into advising us or fixing us before even listening to what we are going through. We are admonished to be quick to listen, slow to speak.

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Listening is the hardest thing to do and so if you are working hard to listen to someone going on and on what's bothering them. We listen at different levels. Different schools of thoughts have explained our levels of listening differently. For this article, I'll attempt to share the one that really resonates with me thanks to Lifeforming Leadership Coaching http://lifeformingcoach.com/. There are three levels of listening, maybe four.

Level 1: Self-centered listening “What does this mean to me?” Attention is on myself, my own needs, and what this conversation can do for me. When someone shares about what they went through or are going through, am busy thinking what does it mean to me maybe because I experienced the same challenges. Or am busy comparing myself with the person sharing. Am thinking of how better or worse they are than me. How lucky or unfortunate I am to have not gone through a similar experience. This way I can’t be of help to whoever is speaking to me. I may end up just talking about myself when they finish and maybe that’s not what they are looking for. Worse still, I may cut them short before they finish so I can let them know they are not the only one in similar challenge, I have also been through it.

Level 2: Other-centered listening “What does this mean to this person?” Attention is on the other person, and what is being communicated. Now, this could be good, unfortunately, we are just gathering data as they come. It's true we are listening but we are more occupied with really what the person is going through at the moment. It's way better than level one. We hear what they are saying and sometimes are quick to interpret and assume a lot of things. We may end up offering unsolicited advice or give some cliché responses like, "it’s Ok, or I understand what you are going through etc”. These in most cases are not always the best responses to give to someone. It may feel like we care but really we may be doing more damage. Most people really don’t want to hear such responses when they are going through something that is worth sharing with you.

Level 3: Intuitive listening “What does this really mean?” Attention is on the other person and the underlying meanings and significance of what is happening. This is a high level of listening and most people never get to this level. Rarely do we experience someone who listens to us at this level. At this level, we are really not even sure what to advise and so the best we can do is to ask questions. Give the person an opportunity to dig deeper into their lives and tap into the resource God has put in them to find a solution to their own unique situation. It's a firm belief in the uniqueness of individuals. You have to stop yourself from labeling people to really operate at this level. Treat the person talking to you as a unique individual, specially designed by God and is experiencing something unique to them. Occasionally what you could do here is to help the person appreciate a different perspective so they can hopefully challenge the narrative they are telling themselves that makes them view their situation like that. You may need to help them evaluate their belief system. This needs you to really be silent, quiet your mind, listen and let God work through you. This leads to high level of wisdom. It’s a show of genuine love and concern to the person sharing.

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Level 4: What is God saying about their future. This is the highest level and it's not common as a human to operate on it. I won't say much on this one.

If this resonates with you, seek to be silent and listen carefully. Look for a small community of friends who you can learn to do this together with… Being accountable to a few and practicing with a few. It’s about building a community of friends to share each other’s journey of listening to others.  You have to be deeply committed to each other and desire to see each other grow in this journey. You have to create a support, encouragement and accountability platform for each other. The community has to be a small as possible so that there is active engagement by all involved.

Find a community around you and see if these conversations make sense to you…

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By Gabriel Achayo. 

Little is Much

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I believe little is much if Jesus is in it.

Jesus fed a minimum of 5,000 people with 5 loaves and two fish. This was really little but he made it more than enough. Many times we are caught on the obsession to get enough, to have what it takes, to be adequate before we offer ourselves or something to Jesus. Interestingly, Jesus wants us as we are, to bring to Him the little honest effort, resources etc so he can use it to do much. He wants us with our inadequacy to transform us and our communities in a big way. Peter was inadequate but look at what came out of his commitment to follow Jesus.

Instead of waiting for the best time, let’s go and give what we have as we are. That’s what Jesus wants. He makes the little much, if we surrender to him. If we were to be equal to the task before engaging, no one would have done anything. But we have to learn to start as we are and completely surrender to the possibility that Jesus can turn what we bring to him to something bigger than us. But this is only possible if there is a commitment to being faithful in the journey. We loosely use this statement, “a journey of a thousand miles begins with a step.” As much as this is true,  what I believe counts much is staying faithful, consistent, committed to the journey -  Giving it all your best as if the success of the journey depends on you and at the same time surrendering to God as if the success of the journey depends on God. The balance here is what brings satisfaction and peace. Knowing that after I have done my best, there is that which only God can do and I let Him do it. 

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In modern times, we are all under pressure to belong, to fit in; we constantly compare ourselves with those around us. We are under the illusion that we have to earn our way into everything. It’s hard to find those who faithfully step up so they can learn, discover, grow in the process and do great things in complete surrender. We are not expected to admit that we don’t know or we need to yield to go up. It’s rare to find those who are secure, confident and humble enough to be used for major assignments.

Jesus says where two or three are gathered in his name, there He is in their midst. He further says, if two agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them. Two key things here are gathering and agreeing. The enemy to these two things can be the desire to always feel you are fit before you start. The illusion to always wait till the stars align until you have what it takes to belong. If you acknowledge what you have at the moment and gather with another who embrace who they are as little as that could be, then agree together without prejudice, and then ask for it, Jesus will make it much.

For those who have interacted with farmers, you understand the idea of planting a small seed that then brings forth something bigger, better and more beneficial. All of us have seeds of greatness. It could be in anything, your talent, passion, dream etc. When God plants a random idea in your head, it’s a seed that if you trust him for it, it will be bigger than you can imagine. Many times we get tiny, random thoughts, like birds flying over our heads. We sometimes sit down and imagine things, how we can do great things, how we can influence our lives or our generation, but we have these voices that come and tell us how much we can’t. We are not good enough; we are not the right ones for such things. Others are best qualified. So what do we do, we swiftly move on to do what the society expects of us. We maintain the status quo. But as the GiANT Worldwide asks, “WHO SAYS YOU CAN’T?”

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Of all the over 7 billion people in the universe, why are you the one entertaining that thought the way it's coming to you? It's not accidental that you have that thought in your mind. All you got to do is be intentional about it. Ask Jesus to guide you to the right people and if you can find someone who believes in you enough, walk the journey. You will be amazed at what can come out of random thoughts. That’s what in AYLF we are for, believing in people; young leaders, because this is what has made AYLF Kenya be where it is now.

God is in the business of inviting us to be involved in all the great work he is doing. The only way He does that is revealing to us in little glimpses what we could do by planting random thoughts in our minds. If you don't pick up on a thought God plants in your head at that time, you will be shocked how someone else will quickly say ‘Yes’ to that and the idea will come to reality. And the statement you will be left with will be like, “that was my idea.” It wasn’t really your idea, it was God’s idea, 

He gave you an opportunity to be part of it but since you were still full of your own self-inhibitions, He found someone who was ready - who was confident, secure and humble to trust him for the idea.

If this resonates with you, what seed is God planting in your head now or what is he reminding you after you have read this. Look for a small community of friends who you can do this together with… Being accountable to a few and practicing with a few. It’s about building a community of friends to share each other’s journey of engaging with the ideas God plant in our minds.  You have to be deeply committed to each other and desire to see each other grow in this journey. You have to create a support, encouragement and accountability platform for each other. The community has to be a small as possible so that there is active engagement by all involved.

Find a community around you and see if these conversations make sense to you…

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By Gabriel Achayo. 

God Lifts the Humble

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I believe God lifts the humble

Genuine humility is hard to come by. Most of us think we are humble just because our circumstance has made it so. We feign humility towards others because we need favors from them, or they are our bosses.We live in a world where if you don't assert yourself, you seem to lose out. In order not to lose out, we do a number of things to prove our worth. We want to be noticed, we want big titles that people know and can recognize. We are scared that no one will notice us. A mentor I respect once told me that the only title I should be is me.

The question is, how do we stay humble and not lose out? We are told that Jesus knowing who he was, where he had come from and where he was going, he washed his disciples’ feet. Whatever he did, those facts were not going to change and he didn’t have to explain himself as he washed the feet of the twelve men who had been practically walking the whole time. Just as Jesus knew himself, his origin, and his destiny, true humility is only possible if we also have an idea of who we are, our origin and our destiny.

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The four issues humanity grapple with are origin, meaning, morality, and destiny. Our level of understanding of these issues affects how we view & treat those around us and in turn how we conduct ourselves around them. Humility is recognizing that which is true, God is God, and I am not God and that’s who I am and if he gave me a skill, he gave me a skill; if he didn’t, he didn’t. Humility isn’t thinking less about yourself but is thinking about yourself less. Not a lack of self-confidence. This I believe is possible if you are on a journey of discovering where you come from, who you are, and where you are going?

We have experienced people who go to greater lengths to prove to us that they are the ones in control, they are in charge, without them we are useless. They do a lot to smear it on our faces and to continuously remind us lest we forget that we cannot do without them. This is dangerous if the person is involved in some sort of a leadership position. If you find yourself as a leader always reminding people who you are, then there is a problem. The problem could be with the people you are leading or with you. In most of the experiences I have heard, the problem mostly is always with the so-called leader who is occupying a position. “Leadership is the mature use of power to enable self and others to achieve higher goals.” Leadership Development by Barr & Barr

I believe God is looking for the humble to lift them up. He is looking for the secure, confident and humble people; those who are using the power they have maturely to bring out something grander for others to see His glory. God called David a man after his heart because he had a heart of humility. David was the actual Giant when facing the oversized bodied Goliath. David knew where he came from, he understood what that moment needed and that there was a higher power at work in his life. It wasn’t about Goliath; it was about who David represented.

Many times in our efforts to prove ourselves to people, we build up walls that make it hard for God to work in our lives. It’s like my 3-year-old struggling to prove himself to me. As his earthly father, I believe I have been around longer than him and as such I know somethings better than he does. So it is ridiculous and stupid of him to keep working so hard to prove himself to me. Most times we are like that to God. He wants to lift us up but since we are not willing to let go who we believe we should be to embrace who we are, we fail to connect to what God is trying to do in our lives. We don’t allow ourselves to be seen as we are so we can move to the next level of influence; where God wants us to be. He wants us to go to him as we are, not as we should be. I like these three questions thanks to GiANT WORLDWIDE:

                                            i.            What are you afraid of losing?

                                          ii.            What are you trying to hide?

                                        iii.            What are you trying to prove? To whom?

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These are very sobering questions that if we continually ask, and attempt to answer, we may find ourselves in the journey of humility with God. I invite you to think of these questions whenever you are dealing with others or even when it comes to your walk with God.

If this resonates with you, seek humility. Look for a small community of friends who you can do this together with… Being accountable to a few and practicing with a few. It’s about building a community of friends to share each other’s journey of walking humbly with God.  You have to be deeply committed to each other and desire to see each other grow in this journey. You have to create a support, encouragement and accountability platform for each other. The community has to be a small as possible so that there is active engagement by all involved.

Find a community around you and see if these conversations make sense to you…

By Gabriel Achayo. 

Micah 6:8

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I believe in Micah 6:8, My favorite verse of all time, “He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God”

The sole purpose of a human being, after all is said and done is to love mercy, act justly and walk humbly with God. This is itself echoes the command Jesus gave us which is Love God and love your neighbor (Others)

This is easier said than done. Most cases we want to be seen to be the ideal lovers of God, so we religiously do things, offer our time, self, resources etc, but unless we live Micah 6:8, all these are just like filthy rags. All the religiously acceptable behaviors we put in place doesn't make us more righteous than what Micah 6:8 would.

The questions I keep asking myself are, Am I acting justly, in the family, how I treat my two boys, how I treat my wife. Is it just. As I discharge my responsibilities in AYLF, am I just. To be just is to be fair, rational, impartial, reasonable, open-minded, non-discriminatory. This is in itself what is said to love your neighbor as you love yourself. How would I feel if I was on the receiving end if I wear the other person's shoes, will I expect to be treated the same way? At the end of the day, did I act justly in all my duties? This is important to me and I live my life on that. 

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The other question is mercy… Am I merciful. To love mercy, is to love compassion, forgiveness, to be human, show care, be kind, be of concern. I look at it as making others experience something better than what they would ordinarily experience. To make their lives better. To add value to people. All these are not easy, but as a follower of Jesus am called upon to love mercy. To love my neighbour as I love my self. Even if my neighbour doesn’t look like they deserve it. I have spent my life working with young leaders who most of them are very difficult to handle. But I find it somehow in my heart to be there for them, be their confidant even if no one really cares what it is. I see and watch what they do out there, the mistakes they make but I still am able without judging them be their friend and let them know that am there for them. Sometimes I find it hard to do that because there is a part of me that wants to avoid them, let them be, have nothing to do with them. This to me is an effort, though with many failings to show them mercy. Let them realise that no matter what they do or how people view them, they can count on my friendship. I haven’t done it for all but I make effort to do it for the few I reach out to.

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The other question is, walking humbly with God. This is not easy. This to me is to love the Lord with all your heart, soul, strength etc. I, in many occasions fall short in this. This to me is how I treat those God brings my way. How I continuously cultivate my understanding of His word, what he has called me to do, how I live my life at home, at work, how I drive on the roads, pay my bills on time, take care of my responsibilities, how I serve those who I interact with including my wife and children etc. This is very important. Do I spend time in prayer and God’s word? God’s will for our life is that we live a sanctified life. In my decisions, work, family, activities, etc how am I honouring this. What are the questions I ask myself every day I need to engage in something? I believe God has given us wisdom so we make choices that are good for us. But with the choices I make, am I living a sanctified life. Am I cultivating a relationship with God.

Walking humbly with our God also implies being a humble citizen of your country who obeys the laws of the land not because of police but because of your conscience.

If this resonates with you, reflect on why you interact with Micah 6:8. Look for a small community of friends who you can do this together with… Being accountable to a few and practicing with a few. It’s about building a community of friends to share each other’s thoughts on Micah 6:8. You have to be deeply committed to each other and desire to see each other grow in this journey. You have to create a support, encouragement and accountability platform for each other. The community has to be a small as possible so that there is active engagement by all involved.

Find a community around you and see if these conversations make sense to you…

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By Gabriel Achayo.