I believe that service offered without joy helps neither the server or the served.
Many of us find ourselves in positions of service whether for compensation or voluntarily. It’s very easy just to do what you are to do and tick a box. This in many cases doesn’t always bring the expected satisfaction. A service offered deep from the heart with joy refreshes and brings meaning both to the recipient of the service and the provider of the service. This is whether it’s compensated or not.
The best way to serve is to know that whatever service I offer goes beyond the action, the material, the physical manifestation that transpires. It goes deeper and it should be intended to bring meaning, dignity, and significance to both the parties involved. It boils down to the reason we serve; the WHY? Why do I choose to serve? What motivates/inspires me to want to serve?
How do you find joy in the service you offer if the main reason you are doing it is that you have to? Many of us are trapped in things that we really don’t like but we have to do it. We do it to fit in, make ends meet, make other people happy at our own expense. This is a complicated situation and I may not clearly understand you. The reason you do what you are doing. But is it possible to find joy in doing what you don’t like? Is it possible to look at it from a different paradigm? I believe the minute you seek to find joy in whatever you do, then you find significance and satisfaction. This could lead to you being able to find other opportunities and hopefully you to discovering what you like and hence enjoy doing. Some of us are lucky to combine our joys with what we do, but most are not that lucky.
I believe finding joy in what you do starts primarily with how you view yourself in what you do. Whatever you believe about yourself is what you keep communicating to people. So if you are full of joy, you communicate the same to those around you. The converse is true. One of my favorite Stephen Coveys quotes is “I am not a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions.” This is easier said than done. It can just be another statement we say to make us feel good or nicely advise someone. But can this be true in your case? Are you able to truly say, that as much as I don’t like what I do, I will enjoy doing it? What is the one thing that will make you say that? If you can’t find it, then make a change. Don’t be acted upon, act. Don’t waste your precious life? As they say, you only live once.
We quickly would like to think, believe and maybe say, “I’ll find joy when I get that job”, “when I do this or that”. “If I only had a good boss?” “If I could just have more room to do what I please?” We let life pass us by because we are waiting for that day that we will do what we like. One of my very good friend like asking, “Who told you, you will get there?” “What guarantee do you have that your boss will change?” Or “that you will even get married” or “go through the stage you are looking forward to.” Why let the present pass you by as you wait for an elusive future. Why not use the present to prepare you for your joyful future? Why not practice now how you will enjoy what you like one day? Because honestly, this might just be it. You never know when the unthinkable might hit you. Not intended to scare but that’s the reality. I believe what matters most is how we respond to what happens to us in life, or what life throws our way.
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I love Gandhi’s story. While people criticised him because he would not join everyone else in complaining and condemning the British Empire, he focused on doing something. He made a decision to do what he could do. He quietly and slowly built a huge amount of influence by responding differently. He gained a huge support, trust, confidence in the countryside. Though he held no office or political position, through compassion, courage, fasting and moral persuasion he eventually becomes who we celebrate now. I bet he found joy in doing what he was doing and that’s why many were impacted. Your circumstance might require a totally different response from this. But are you ready to act on it?
Stephen Covey tells the story of a nurse in one of his sessions who understood that she could choose her response. This nurse cared full-time for “the most miserable, ungrateful man you can possibly imagine…This man has made my life miserable.” As she listened to Covey speak about the fact that no one can hurt you without your consent and that she had chosen to be miserable, she thought that Covey didn’t really understand her circumstances. But she began to ask herself, “Do I have the power to choose my response?” When she realized that she had chosen to be miserable, she also realized that she could choose to not be miserable.“At that moment I stood up. I felt as though I was being let out of San Quentin. I wanted to yell to the whole world. ‘I am free! I am let out of prison. No longer am I going to be controlled by the treatment of some person.’” (p.73)
If this resonates with you, commit to finding joy in whatever service you offer. Look for a small community of friends who you can learn to do this together with. Being accountable to a few and practicing with a few. It’s about building a community of friends to share each other’s journey of being proactive and intentionally seek joy in life as this yields significance and satisfaction to everyone directly or indirectly affected by you. You have to be deeply committed to each other and desire to see each other grow in this journey. You have to create a support, encouragement and accountability platform for each other. The community has to be a small as possible so that there is active engagement by all involved.
Find a community around you and see if these conversations make sense to you…
By Gabriel Achayo.
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