JESUS AND RELIGION

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Religion is good and it helps us work within some defined parameters that we understand. It's our own way of trying to reach God, to please God, and to serve God. To many people, this becomes a way of life and it often becomes the bottom-line. Others have found themselves where they have lifted up religion over and above the truth - Religion over and above the scripture. This to me is not right. When we focus more on what we are doing rather than on who we are becoming, we start losing out on what really Jesus was about. I'd rather we become, then whatever we find ourselves doing, flows out of who we have become. Unfortunately, religion has pushed us sometimes to do and do and do and do some more.

I believe, following Jesus and living by his teachings is what Jesus was all about. In the words of Jesus, “a time is coming and has come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in Truth and in Spirit”. Worship being a lifestyle, not only an action, we are called upon to live it out. To embody the truth and the spirit. You will know them by their fruits. A bad tree can’t bring forth a good fruit and vice versa. If you don’t focus on being, so that doing is the fruit you bring forth from the vine, then all you produce are toxic unsustainable fruit. This could be toxic to you or those around you. In order to truly love, you have to embody love, to truly serve you have to embody service, to teach you, have to live the teachings, to facilitate transformation, you have to be in the journey of transformation yourself.

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Jesus calls on us to worship in truth and in spirit. Truth supersedes any legality. Truth rises above human restrictions. You will know the truth and the truth shall set you free. To embody the truth and the spirit is to be free, guided by the spirit of God and not limited by human restrictions. This doesn’t mean that you live as if you are above the law, but it means you are not limited to them. The human restriction doesn’t dictate what you do but you rise above them. The truth that you know and the spirit of God that dwells in you is what dictates and guides you; they are your yardstick. The “dos and don’ts”; set in place by human are not your yardsticks. If you set your standard on the truth and the spirit, you will not have a problem with questions of origin, meaning, morality and destiny.

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Jesus spent his life not to establish an institution, or a structure but to bring a way of life. That is why you can’t limit Jesus. He’s a friend of all. No matter your background, your origin, the way of worship, Jesus teachings are applicable and provide a clear moral compass in living a fulfilling life. Am not against institutions and structure, but if it hinders what Jesus is all about, then it’s to be thrown out. He came and lived among us to help us appreciate something beyond what we know. If you seek to embody His values and principles, you experience a fulfilling life. You are able to rise above the humanly set boundaries and limitations and really live a significant life. Focusing on your religious doctrines may in many cases limit you and put you in a box so you never get to really live out your great potential. He came that we may have life and have it in abundance. He brought a way of life that leads to abundant living. The guiding principles in this way of life are to live in truth and in spirit.

What truth is your life established on? How is that influenced by the spirit of God that lives in you? I believe truth without the spirit of God is just too much information that might not bear fruits in our lives and those around us. Focus on Jesus and live a fulfilling life.

If this resonates with you, go ahead to evaluate your way of life. Look for a small community of friends who you can do this together with… Being accountable to a few and doing the way of life with a few. It’s about building a community of friends to share each other’s life.  You have to be deeply committed to each other and desire to see each other grow in this journey. You have to create a support, encouragement and accountability platform for each other. The community has to be as small as possible so that there is active engagement by all involved.

Find a community around you and see if these conversations make sense to you…

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By Gabriel Achayo

Openness and Clarity

I believe in openness and clarity.

Many times we run into trouble because we are hiding something or trying not to let out what's really happening in our lives. This, in turn, leads to a lot of unclear, unresolved issues that can chock our lives. I believe openness and clarity are important and that people respect you for that. People tend to trust you and take you for who you are without fear of surprises. Open people are amazing to deal with. You get to interact with the real them. As they say what you see is what you get. You don't keep on wondering what next.

Openness and clarity breed authenticity in any relationship. A lot of people are in shallow relationships because we are trying to please others and fit in. We are afraid to let people know the real us. We fear we will lose them, they will look down upon us, and we will not be cool enough for them. This has resulted in plastic; Hello! How are you? Relationships. No wonder we have a lot of identity crisis. People are trying to hide the real them through other means, behaviors or habits. And the technology has not been helpful in this. We portray what we want people to see which is not really what’s going on. This is misleading.

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Openness and clarity have to be done with great wisdom. We are told not to give dogs what is sacred, not to throw pearls to pigs or else they may trample them under their feet and turn and tear you into pieces. This means because you seek to be open and clear you just don't go telling every Tom, Dick, and Harry whatever it is. You have to find someone you can share your deepest struggles and most precious thoughts with; your fears, concerns, and joys with. If you share them with someone who doesn't understand them or cannot value them as you do, they may use them against you and take advantage of your situation for their own benefit. So you need to find your Peter, John, and James… Who are these people in your life whom you know you can be open to and clear with and never have to worry that your story will get back to you in a different version? Or it will be used as a prayer point, example or abstract story somewhere. They will guard what you tell them about their lives. Can you be that friend to someone one? Are you the one who is seeking for or catalyzing authentic relationships? Do you have people you never posture to? Or those who don’t posture to you? How would you gauge your relationships with reference to being authentic?

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It’s a risk always to lay it bear to a few. But the benefit that comes with it, it’s worth the risk. The people I share my deepest issues with are those people who we I’ve walked a journey with for quite some time. They are not just friends I happen to meet. We have an intentional interaction with them. Though sometimes with the busy life we miss to check up on each other and touch base often but we are both committed to each other on this.

If this resonates with you, find you one, two or three friends you can be open with. No posturing, no pretending; those who will know you for who you are. Being accountable to a few and practicing with a few. It’s about building a community of friends to share each other’s reflections.  You have to be deeply committed to each other and desire to see each other grow in this journey. You have to create a support, encouragement and accountability platform for each other. The community has to be a small as possible so that there is active engagement by all involved.

Find a community around you and see if these conversations make sense to you…

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 By Gabriel Odhiambo Achayo.

Laughter and Fun

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I believe in a good, healthy genuine laugh and fun.

Too many times we get bogged down by issues of life. What to do? How to do? Where to go? Why do it? When to do it? This sometimes can make us weary in the heart and we start wasting away. We miss out on moments that bring us real joy and happiness. The moments enjoyed with friends and family to do nothing serious but just to have fun and laugh is always worth it. Life is hard in itself and so learn to take it easy. It’s never that serious.

Being cheerful keeps you healthy. It’s a slow death to be gloomy all the time.

I have been told am a good laugher. I like to genuinely laugh out loud. I try to create opportunities to actually laugh. Laughing and having fun is healthy socially, spiritually, emotionally and physically. A gloomy sad person/face is terribly expensive and makes our lives short. A laughter relaxes, takes worries away and it’s therapeutic. In fact, I dare say, a laughter a day keeps the doctor away. I mean a genuine healthy laugh with no reservation. Letting yourself loose to enjoy the moment. Living life for the moment and enjoying the beauty of life. Thank God for this amazing gift.

Laughter and fun are a destination in themselves. When you have a moment to indulge in these, it’s has nothing to do with how tomorrow will be and what you will do tomorrow. You can’t say, I don’t want to laugh today, I will laugh tomorrow. When it comes, your effort to resist it often looks ridiculous. This doesn’t bring with it a care of tomorrow or what next. It’s filled with enjoying the moment. Being grateful for what the situation presents. But you can’t always be noticing the moments if you are not present if you are concerned about what’s not right. You can make a choice to look at what’s right and find pleasure in it or focus on what’s wrong and miss out. You have to make a choice to be present, to be in the moment and live like a child. When a child is with you, they are there. With all their being. Full attention. They can then enjoy whatever it is they are experiencing if indeed it is good for them. We sometimes place laughter and fun squarely out of reach. Some people think fun and laughter is meant for those who are not serious in this life.

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We are repeatedly told to be like little children. This for me has got something to do with being present, appreciation of what’s going on, showing gratitude and enjoying the moment. To be present you have to listen. You have to listen at a level that is focused not on what’s going on in you. You can’t be listening preparing to respond or thinking about yourself and still enjoy what’s going on. You have to listen paying keen attention to the beauty of the moment.

I have spent 10years of my life in creating a platform for young people to learn how to have fun without alcoholic drinks, talk without cellphones, smile without selfies, dream without drugs and ultimately love each other without conditions. This has been an environment for young people to enjoy each other without the fear of being judged, discriminated, or alienated. This is our hope in Africa Youth Leadership Forum.

If this resonates with you, go ahead to evaluate your fun in life. Start now… Then look for a small community of friends who you can do this together with… Being accountable to a few and practicing with a few. It’s about building a community of friends to share each other’s journey of life with, as you find fun and laughter.  You have to be deeply committed to each other and desire to see each other grow in this journey. You have to create a support, encouragement and accountability platform for each other. The community has to be a small as possible so that there is active engagement by all involved.

Find a community around you and see if these conversations make sense to you…

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By Gabriel Achayo.

EQUITY Vs EQUALITY

Every human being under the sun has their own unique abilities. This is irrespective of gender, race, or color. What they are good at that we can’t match up to. Equity to me is in recognizing these abilities and enhancing them for the good of humanity. It’s in appreciating the uniqueness and providing the enabling environment for the various unique abilities to thrive to their God destined future. As opposed to equality that demands equal treatment to all. Equality means being equal in status or opportunities. Equality can only work if everyone starts from the same level and needs the same help. I believe we can’t be equal. Even within the same gender, we can never be equal. Equity is providing the enabling factors to support and promote the diversity in how God created us.

Women have unique abilities that men don’t have. Women are gifted in ways that men aren’t. Men are also in turn gifted in ways that women aren’t. How do we use our varied gifts to achieve our God-designed purpose without fighting each other at each other’s expense? It has to be a win/win situation. How do we support each other to be who God wants us to be? Not through a fight for equality but through equity.

My wife is a superwoman, she is way better than me in a number of ways and that’s why God brought us together. There are also things that I'm better than her at. If we seek equality with each other, our family/house will not succeed at anything. But in the environment of equity, we acknowledge each other’s gifting and support each other accordingly. For those who are married, you notice how powerful your wife is. Most women don’t notice this; the power in women can make the world stop. But we have to acknowledge that it takes two to tango. As a woman, how do you tap into the potential that lies in you and is uniquely yours to live out your power? I've heard countless of stories of women who are trying to copy men so that they can be seen to fit in. This to me is not the way it should be. Every project I have done in my line of work I have noticed the value that each person brings. I always make a deliberate effort to ensure that both genders are present in any project or program. I appreciate there are programs or projects that will necessitate one gender participation but to a greater extent, I believe there is something that will be missed. For the success of any venture, both genders have to be involved and valued as worthy stakeholders.

It breaks my heart when I see someone lose their identity in trying to be someone else. Trying to copy and compete with opposite gender in an effort to fit in. We are different physically, emotionally, and socially, this is who we are. Embracing this and living it out is more fulfilling than trying to fit into someone else.  Due to our differences, there are just things we can’t do, things we would like to be done for; things we would like to see people around us acknowledge us for. The serenity prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr (American theologian) says

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can’t change, courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference…”

Most of us are stuck trying to change the things we can’t change, we lose out by trying to be equal to everyone around us. We are wired differently in our thinking, view of things, perceptions, understanding, response, etc. All these difference is for our benefit. Wisdom is in finding a point connection, focusing on the essential and leveraging on this for the benefit of all.

In this day and age, we need to find ways of providing an enabling environment for everyone, irrespective of their differences from us to tap into their potential and find value for their worth. As a father of two boys, I desire to see my boys grow up knowing that they are special. The same way they are created in the image of God so is also girls. They should do unto others as they would love to be done to. Love thy neighbor as you love thyself. Honor your neighbor as you honor yourself. If you think you are special, the same should apply to your neighbor. This doesn’t matter what gender they are. If you are having a better opportunity, help your neighbor to also have a better opportunity that uniquely fits their design. Don’t squeeze them into yours as they are probably not meant for it. Encourage them to find their best fit. If a lady sees her best fit is being a truck driver and it makes her genuinely happy and enjoy her life, let her be. If a man wants to be a stay at home father and that's what makes him happy and celebrate God's design and gifting in him, let him be. But you should never have a case where you are trying to copy and change yourselves to be like others so you fit in. Neither should we be stopped from pursuing what we believe God has put in us because it's meant for other people.

If this resonates with you, go ahead to evaluate your view of the opposite gender. Start now… Then look for a small community of friends who you can do this together with… Being accountable to a few and practicing with a few. It’s about building a community of friends to share each other’s journey of life with, discover each other’s best fit and offer support to each other.  You have to be deeply committed to each other and desire to see each other grow in this journey. You have to create a support, encouragement and accountability platform for each other. The community has to be a small as possible so that there is active engagement by all involved.

Find a community around you and see if these conversations make sense to you…

By Gabriel Odhiambo Achayo