I believe in openness and clarity.
Many times we run into trouble because we are hiding something or trying not to let out what's really happening in our lives. This, in turn, leads to a lot of unclear, unresolved issues that can chock our lives. I believe openness and clarity are important and that people respect you for that. People tend to trust you and take you for who you are without fear of surprises. Open people are amazing to deal with. You get to interact with the real them. As they say what you see is what you get. You don't keep on wondering what next.
Openness and clarity breed authenticity in any relationship. A lot of people are in shallow relationships because we are trying to please others and fit in. We are afraid to let people know the real us. We fear we will lose them, they will look down upon us, and we will not be cool enough for them. This has resulted in plastic; Hello! How are you? Relationships. No wonder we have a lot of identity crisis. People are trying to hide the real them through other means, behaviors or habits. And the technology has not been helpful in this. We portray what we want people to see which is not really what’s going on. This is misleading.
Image Credits: Weather Vane Sisterhood
Openness and clarity have to be done with great wisdom. We are told not to give dogs what is sacred, not to throw pearls to pigs or else they may trample them under their feet and turn and tear you into pieces. This means because you seek to be open and clear you just don't go telling every Tom, Dick, and Harry whatever it is. You have to find someone you can share your deepest struggles and most precious thoughts with; your fears, concerns, and joys with. If you share them with someone who doesn't understand them or cannot value them as you do, they may use them against you and take advantage of your situation for their own benefit. So you need to find your Peter, John, and James… Who are these people in your life whom you know you can be open to and clear with and never have to worry that your story will get back to you in a different version? Or it will be used as a prayer point, example or abstract story somewhere. They will guard what you tell them about their lives. Can you be that friend to someone one? Are you the one who is seeking for or catalyzing authentic relationships? Do you have people you never posture to? Or those who don’t posture to you? How would you gauge your relationships with reference to being authentic?
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It’s a risk always to lay it bear to a few. But the benefit that comes with it, it’s worth the risk. The people I share my deepest issues with are those people who we I’ve walked a journey with for quite some time. They are not just friends I happen to meet. We have an intentional interaction with them. Though sometimes with the busy life we miss to check up on each other and touch base often but we are both committed to each other on this.
If this resonates with you, find you one, two or three friends you can be open with. No posturing, no pretending; those who will know you for who you are. Being accountable to a few and practicing with a few. It’s about building a community of friends to share each other’s reflections. You have to be deeply committed to each other and desire to see each other grow in this journey. You have to create a support, encouragement and accountability platform for each other. The community has to be a small as possible so that there is active engagement by all involved.
Find a community around you and see if these conversations make sense to you…
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