EQUITY Vs EQUALITY

Every human being under the sun has their own unique abilities. This is irrespective of gender, race, or color. What they are good at that we can’t match up to. Equity to me is in recognizing these abilities and enhancing them for the good of humanity. It’s in appreciating the uniqueness and providing the enabling environment for the various unique abilities to thrive to their God destined future. As opposed to equality that demands equal treatment to all. Equality means being equal in status or opportunities. Equality can only work if everyone starts from the same level and needs the same help. I believe we can’t be equal. Even within the same gender, we can never be equal. Equity is providing the enabling factors to support and promote the diversity in how God created us.

Women have unique abilities that men don’t have. Women are gifted in ways that men aren’t. Men are also in turn gifted in ways that women aren’t. How do we use our varied gifts to achieve our God-designed purpose without fighting each other at each other’s expense? It has to be a win/win situation. How do we support each other to be who God wants us to be? Not through a fight for equality but through equity.

My wife is a superwoman, she is way better than me in a number of ways and that’s why God brought us together. There are also things that I'm better than her at. If we seek equality with each other, our family/house will not succeed at anything. But in the environment of equity, we acknowledge each other’s gifting and support each other accordingly. For those who are married, you notice how powerful your wife is. Most women don’t notice this; the power in women can make the world stop. But we have to acknowledge that it takes two to tango. As a woman, how do you tap into the potential that lies in you and is uniquely yours to live out your power? I've heard countless of stories of women who are trying to copy men so that they can be seen to fit in. This to me is not the way it should be. Every project I have done in my line of work I have noticed the value that each person brings. I always make a deliberate effort to ensure that both genders are present in any project or program. I appreciate there are programs or projects that will necessitate one gender participation but to a greater extent, I believe there is something that will be missed. For the success of any venture, both genders have to be involved and valued as worthy stakeholders.

It breaks my heart when I see someone lose their identity in trying to be someone else. Trying to copy and compete with opposite gender in an effort to fit in. We are different physically, emotionally, and socially, this is who we are. Embracing this and living it out is more fulfilling than trying to fit into someone else.  Due to our differences, there are just things we can’t do, things we would like to be done for; things we would like to see people around us acknowledge us for. The serenity prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr (American theologian) says

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can’t change, courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference…”

Most of us are stuck trying to change the things we can’t change, we lose out by trying to be equal to everyone around us. We are wired differently in our thinking, view of things, perceptions, understanding, response, etc. All these difference is for our benefit. Wisdom is in finding a point connection, focusing on the essential and leveraging on this for the benefit of all.

In this day and age, we need to find ways of providing an enabling environment for everyone, irrespective of their differences from us to tap into their potential and find value for their worth. As a father of two boys, I desire to see my boys grow up knowing that they are special. The same way they are created in the image of God so is also girls. They should do unto others as they would love to be done to. Love thy neighbor as you love thyself. Honor your neighbor as you honor yourself. If you think you are special, the same should apply to your neighbor. This doesn’t matter what gender they are. If you are having a better opportunity, help your neighbor to also have a better opportunity that uniquely fits their design. Don’t squeeze them into yours as they are probably not meant for it. Encourage them to find their best fit. If a lady sees her best fit is being a truck driver and it makes her genuinely happy and enjoy her life, let her be. If a man wants to be a stay at home father and that's what makes him happy and celebrate God's design and gifting in him, let him be. But you should never have a case where you are trying to copy and change yourselves to be like others so you fit in. Neither should we be stopped from pursuing what we believe God has put in us because it's meant for other people.

If this resonates with you, go ahead to evaluate your view of the opposite gender. Start now… Then look for a small community of friends who you can do this together with… Being accountable to a few and practicing with a few. It’s about building a community of friends to share each other’s journey of life with, discover each other’s best fit and offer support to each other.  You have to be deeply committed to each other and desire to see each other grow in this journey. You have to create a support, encouragement and accountability platform for each other. The community has to be a small as possible so that there is active engagement by all involved.

Find a community around you and see if these conversations make sense to you…

By Gabriel Odhiambo Achayo