Humility

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I believe in true humility.

Humility can be faked. I have been a victim of this either directly or indirectly. Pretense is so common since we want to get what we want. I can bow to you so long as you give me what I want. We have conditional humility. This can be confusing and a challenge in the relationship between the parties involved. True humility is exemplified by Jesus. He knew who He was, His purpose, His calling hence it didn’t matter what people thought of Him. He became man and dwelt in our midst.

False humility is a stumbling block to many of our life’s efforts. You can’t pretend to be humble all the time. It finally catches up with you and people get to know you for who you are.

On the other hand, some have thought that humility means that you have to be the last to get something. You become a doormat. You allow people to take advantage of you. You always think of yourself as having to wait for everyone else to have their way, and then yours will come later if there is any more opportunity. That is not humility. This could be low self-esteem issues or lack of self-confidence, which need to be addressed as soon as possible. It could be that you don’t have an understanding of who you are and whose you are.

A humble person is more interested in others than in themselves. He/she isn’t more about their ego. He/she is about the greater good rather than their own needs; recognizes that which is true, God is God, and I am not God and that’s who I am and if He gave me a skill, He gave me a skill. If He didn’t, He didn’t. Humility isn’t thinking less about you but it’s thinking about yourself less. Not a lack of self-confidence.

As a follower of Jesus, we are called upon to live a life worth our calling with humility and patience, bearing with one another in love. We are further encouraged to walk humbly with our God. This doesn’t mean that we have to see ourselves as people who don’t deserve the bigger and better opportunities that this life offers but that in pursuit of all these, we think of others more - the least of these. We think of the less fortunate, the disenfranchised, we truly serve those who God has brought our way. Service is not meant to specific people but whoever God brings your way, you ought to serve them in truth and with honesty. It could be your spouse, boss, subordinates, peers, colleagues, friends, community etc. You are called upon to serve with joy.

Service which is rendered without joy helps neither the servant nor the served. Gandhi

It also means that we embody a heart of gratitude. This is the most magnetic quality of people. All of us tend to like people who show gratitude when we do something to them. It’s not just saying thank you, but it’s living a life of gratitude to God and to those around you. We are always quick to say thank you but our lifestyle doesn’t express gratitude. We will do something over and over again to anyone who embodies gratitude in their lives. But to someone who we know don't show gratitude, we quickly shift our attention to someone or something else.

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The other way of showing true humility is seeking a genuine apology. Saying "Am Sorry" is hard for most of us. We would rather correct the situation, which is good but never utter the word. Sometimes if we say it, we use many words or try to justify. I believe that if you mean to apologize, just apologize, don't use words that mean you are only apologizing in part. A broken and a contrite spirit the Lord doesn't despise. None of us is perfect; we are bound to make mistakes that hurt people. It’s important that we live a reconciled life with each other.

Offering forgiveness is also true humility. It’s acknowledging that I’m also human and hence I make mistakes. So if you make a mistake, I will forgive you. Most of us are good at giving people standards of apologies we want. Until you do this or that, I won't forgive you. We have been forgiven so we also ought to forgive each other. If you don't forgive you are the one who suffers most. You walk with a wounded heart. Holding grudges on all those who said or did something that upset or hurt you. As they say, it's like taking poison and hoping someone else dies. But this doesn't mean that we don't learn and take care of ourselves so we are not always getting hurt. God has given us the wisdom to live this life.

How do you think about yourself with reference to others around you? How do you serve the people around you? How do you engage with the opportunities you come across or the people you interact with? When was the last time you genuinely apologized for a something that you did or said that wasn't right or hurt someone else? Is it hard for you to forgive or do you give conditional forgiveness?

If this resonates with you, seek humility. Look for a small community of friends who you can do this together with… Being accountable to a few and practicing with a few. It’s about building a community of friends to share each other’s journey of walking humbly with God.  You have to be deeply committed to each other and desire to see each other grow in this journey. You have to create a support, encouragement and accountability platform for each other. The community has to be a small as possible so that there is active engagement by all involved.

Find a community around you and see if these conversations make sense to you…

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By Gabriel Odhiambo Achayo.