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I believe marriage is the most sacred and blessed institution by God.
This is for the married or those who would like to walk that path in the future.
God loves marriage. He shows favor to the married who choose to consistently honor Him. Through marriage, we become better people if we work on it. In order to love your spouse, you need to work on loving God more than anything else. This is an advice I give to anybody willing to listen. It’s so common to find that in marriage, we love with conditions. I can’t do this because you didn’t do that. We attach standards; we keep comparing with what we think we missed. We sometimes imagine what if we married someone else maybe we would have a better marriage. This is a futile exercise. On Monday 7th May, we celebrated our 7th anniversary. It's been a journey worth going through. My wife has been the best friend I have. We are passionate about what is important to both of us. We work through things sometimes not so very well in areas we don’t agree but we are committed to working on them. This has made us – I believe better people. 7 years later, I appreciate a lot of things, I value people more, relationships more, treasure my relationship with God more. Our children have brought a whole lot of joyful experiences in our lives. Am a better man than I was 7 years ago because I'm married and every moment I desire to humbly walk with my God in my marriage. We have three other couples we are committed to meet with every other week to talk about our marriages. This is something I look forward to. As they say, iron sharpens iron.
God created the universe and the first institution He put in place was the one between Adam and Eve. He who finds a wife finds a good thing and OBTAINS favor from God. God is in the business of blessing and showing favor to those who choose to honor this institution of marriage. He checks in and things change. Getting married is one thing but staying married is a whole lot of a different thing. It's also much different to stay in a marriage that liberates you. A marriage that you are fully supported and challenged to be the best you can be. A marriage where love is cultivated, where both spouses act in the long-term best interest of each other. A marriage that helps you heal; casts out things that limit you and raises you to be who God made you; to live out your full potential.
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We all come into marriage with our baggage, tendencies, nature, how we have been nurtured etc. We bring them in with us. This, in most cases, brings conflict. We have our own ideas of how things work or what to expect from your spouse. Our behavior is always as a result of our nature, nurture and choice. Of these three, the most important that liberates in the marriage is the ability to choose. To make your own choice of how you respond to anything that comes your way. Your choice ought to be guided by the principles and values that you have learned over time and you have come to appreciate. No one can take your power to choose from you. God has endowed us with unique abilities. Stephen Covey in his 7 Habits of Highly Effective People talks of these abilities; Self-Awareness, Creative Imagination, Conscience and independent will. These are gifts that should empower us to make choices that liberate us. That makes us influential in our marriages. It's pointless to be influential out there and not at home. The journey to being truly and sustainably influential, start with self, family (spouse & children), then out there. If you start from within, the ripple effect is clearly evident. Not the other way round. You can’t clean outside of the cup and leave the inside dirty.
You cannot succeed in one department of life while cheating on another, life is an indivisible whole. By Mahatma Gandhi
As a follower of Jesus, how does this affect your choices? How do you live a personal life that impacts your marriage positively? How do you feel about your marriage? Is there any choice you can make that will positively transform you and your marriage? For those who hope to join this path, what does this mean to you?
Marriage is a beautiful institution enjoyed by those who choose to honor it.
If this resonates with you, take time to evaluate your marriage. Look for a small community of friends who you can do this together with… Being accountable to a few and practicing with a few. It’s about building a community of friends to share each other’s journeys with. You have to be deeply committed to each other and desire to see each other grow in this journey. You have to create a support, encouragement and accountability platform for each other. The community has to be a small as possible so that there is active engagement by all involved.
Find a community around you and see if these conversations make sense to you…
A great piece! Such an eye opener especially for those who are looking forward to getting married some day.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you that marriage is the most sacred and blesses institution by God. Even in the millennial era where mockery of marriage has become the norm, I still believe that marriage is a beautiful thing... And it requires work for it to work.
Well said.
ReplyDeleteGreat piece and educative
ReplyDelete