I believe you can’t
escape criticism if you choose to lead.
Leadership is about
choosing to influence others. It’s about people’s lives. Sometimes to do what
others don't prefer. If you advocate a position and advance an agenda, there
will be detractors and those who will disagree and disapprove of you. Others
will disapprove with you just because it’s you. Others may be because of your
faults or mistakes or their perception of either. This might seek to pull you
back or hinder progress. But I would like to say this; criticism is part of
leadership. Anyone who has worked with those who are different from them or see
things differently have at any point experienced any form of disagreement or
disapproval; either in their personality, ability, merit, character, etc.
While I am willing to
acknowledge this reality as my learning opportunity, I must confess that
criticism is never easy for me. This is both in giving and receiving. I am an
ISFP and my F affects me a lot as what I do, and I are all one and the same.
My Nurturer tendency that makes me fear conflict makes me equate criticism with
conflict. If you criticize my work, it always looks like you are shooting me
down. I have come a long way, and I'm learning to accept this, I have to be
disagreed with, disapproved and sometimes dismissed. This is the one tendency I
am dealing with so that I can be a leader who can take in criticism. Of course,
I hope they will be positive and not negative meant to hurt me just for the
sake of it. I know these two will be present. But as a leader, I have to learn
to deal with them when they come. As I continue to advance ideas, causes, and
issues that I believe in, I am very aware that they will put me in the crosshairs
of strictest opponents.
“Leadership” and
“Leadership Styles” are often confused. You can lead with a servant’s heart or
mindset. Looking for solutions as you build on participation and inclusiveness.
People often need to feel they are part of the conversation and to be
acknowledged for their contribution. This kind of leadership style can reduce
this sting of criticism. We are often criticized less for what we say than for
how we say it. A leader needs to pay attention to both sides of the equation;
“Leadership” and “Leadership Style.” What you say and how you say it. This
might vary from one scenario to another. It’s in striking a balance that will
make you a leader worth following.
I could be right and
know more than the people I am leading, but if all I load on you is what I know
without care on how this affects you as the led, then I might end up walking
in the park. The three questions most people ask if you are leading them are:
1.
Do you know what you are talking about?
2.
Do you care about me; the led?
3.
Can you help me get out of my problem?
These three questions speak
into “Leadership” and “Leadership Style.” The “What” and the “How.” We may get
the “What” right, but until we are clearly on the “How,” we are bound to have a
rough ride as a leader. I believe a leader who is consciously aware of the “How,”
is likely to have minimum criticism. But the how alone is not enough because
you have to be clear on the “What” as a leader.
It’s clear we can’t
avoid criticism at all as a leader. But it helps to know you can reduce them to
a minimum if you know how to balance “Leadership” and “Leadership Style.” If
you know how to calibrate “Challenge and Support.” There is no precise balance
here, but it's you to know in your situation when to “Support” and when to “Challenge.”
When to “Push” and when to “Pull.”
As a leader, do you
know when to “Give your opinions and views” Vs. when to “Actively Listen?” When
to “State your Needs and Wants” Vs. when to “Draw them from the people you are
leading?” Do you have a sense of when to use “Incentives and Pressure” Vs. when
to “Build a Common Ground?”
If this resonates with
you, how are you "Push/Pull Behaviours." Look for a small community
of friends who you can learn to do this together with. Being accountable to a few and practising with
a few. It's about building a community of friends to share each other's journey
of genuine leaders who want to succeed as leaders. You have to be deeply committed to each other
and desire to see each other grow in this journey. You have to create a
support, encouragement, and accountability platform for each other. The community
has to be as small as possible so that there is active engagement by all
involved.
Find a community
around you and see if these conversations make sense to you.
By Gabriel Achayo
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